April 9, 2005 | 14:19
Word Count: 339 | Category: Mystery

An inky black stygian cloud lurked at the bottom of the Pond. In what was an otherwise immaculate and breathtaking garden, the Pond loomed ominously, defying the imported Japanese gardener to dare attempt to beautify it. Six years Mr. Norinaga had toiled, sculpting beauty from what was once a wilderness of forgotten dreams and lost hope. Not once had he disturbed the Pond, respecting it's presence and it's aura of foreboding.

Mr. Norinaga stood gazing upon the Pond, admiring the reflection of the blossoming cherry trees and the fiery read maples. The Pond would have to be conquered, and like so many of the features in his garden it would have to be brought into submission to his will. He had eight months to construct a water-borne bamboo pagoda in the center of the Pond where his employer's daughter would be wed to his own son.

No one knew how deep the Pond was, nor what creature made its home on the bottom. Most people had avoided the area and didn't even know about the Pond, and the few that did were dreamers or poets and crafted fanciful tales of hauntings, curses, and mythical beasts.

Mr. Norinaga was fond of ponds and lakes and the creatures that made their happy hopes in them. He prided himself on his water gardens and his many Nishikigoi in his own garden back home. In his six years he had become rather intimate with the Pond and forming his own idea as to what lay beneath the surface of the reflective waters he now was ready to placate the beast of the pond.

Kneeling at its edge he broke the surface with one finger, raised to his lips and confirmed his suspicion. Nodding to himself and smiling ever so slightly he placed a call to a specialty aquarium shop and placed an order. The Pond would soon have two monsters dwelling in its depths, and Mr. Norinaga would have the pagoda ready for the wedding, and an exotic gift for all the guests.

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I liked your story except it wasn't long enough! :)

I liked your story except it wasn't long enough! :)
My question would be with "inky black stygian" as stygian
already means gloomy and dark. I decided it was good, but
you have the opportunity to use other words...like
maybe texture words(?)...and still with the use of stygian
get the picture of inky black...maybe....I guess it would
depend on how important the color black was to the story -
or if dark is sufficient.

krags – Mon, 04/11/2005 – 08:14

In this case I did want "inky black" (thought I highly doubt any

In this case I did want "inky black" (thought I highly doubt anyone will catch why), and I wanted to hint at some hellish and murky gloom, and I wanted to have that poetic sense of saying the same thing three times to emphasize it. As to its length, that's what I get when I run out of time and still come up with next to nothing.

Seth Croston Barber – Mon, 04/11/2005 – 08:51